In last week's blog, I attempted to alert the "suits" in banking that there are some downsides to the proliferation of the hottest new banking apps in the past two years. Security systems, fraud detection systems, risk management, regulatory compliance measures, dual authentication for online users and anything resembling protection are in vogue whenever bankers get squeezed by the unexpected. But when these systems do their job, they also create a huge workload for bank employees as they are now required to test all possible suspects. In other words, for every good technology there's a "gotcha" somewhere that no one anticipated. The CIO is claiming victory, but the head of operations is cursing.

This week, I was thinking about some of the current challenges in proving to a legitimate tester who I really am. In one case, I was well-prepared. You see, decades ago my widowed mother was forced to enter the workplace. Almost overnight it seemed this sweet lady turned into one kick-ass first sergeant, and was assigning duties to all of us. She chose her youngest son to run the household. "And don't forget to save the receipts when you pay the gas and electric." I never forgot. In fact, today I have trouble discarding 20-year-old utility bills, and what a blessing. The utility bill these days is the most popular method of proving who I am after all the hi-tech methods fail. I kid you not.

When I bought a new pair of jeans at Macy's last week (the first in about 15 years) the lady insisted I open an account to save another five bucks. I resisted. She won. In front of some other shoppers at the register, the online credit approval system came back faster than I could say "new Levis jeans" with "DECLINED." I knew better than to ask why, so I quietly walked away while thanking the Big Guy in the Sky for fighting my battles for me. I really didn't want another plastic.

Five days later, the credit bureau sent me a letter saying they couldn't match my name on my driver's license with the name on my credit file. They asked me to send them a utility bill. Even a credit score of 850 and a little more checking as to why I don't use my archaic baptismal name anymore couldn't do the job that a utility bill could. Thanks, Ma, for all the lessons.

I'm beginning to feel more optimistic these days because I believe some special rule of physics is taking over. If good things have their downside, I wonder if bad things will have their upside. We know, for example, that the high price of gas is a bad thing. I'm now looking forward to the upside, when finally we'll drastically cut the use of oil. Hopefully, some day the only time we'll refer to oil will be the olive type in a nice salad with tomatoes that won't kill you. Hang in there, folks, all kinds of good things are about to happen.

So you'll know who I am,
Menelaos Arthur Parianoglou Gillis

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